Saturday, 25 February 2017

Men Behind The Sun [Hei tai yang 731/Squadron 731]

If nothing else this demonstrates that despite having got to a point in my life where I've seen a lot of films, there are still films out there that can offer up new sights unseen by my eyes. Not sure that this is a good thing anymore but wow, I certainly saw some things. Thanks Joefest.

Elite Squad [Tropa de Elite]

Unrelentingly grim look at policing Brazilian slums, apparently not an easy job and one that involves a lot of grimness combined with a distinct lack of relenting.

The Killer Is Still Among Us [L'assassino e ancora tra nol]

At the end a title card appears proclaiming that this film was made 'with the hope that it will be of use to law enforcement to bring these ferocious killers to justice.' Not sure how a badly made, piss dull attempt of a thriller is gonna be useful to anybody but at least the thought was there.


Excellent tale examining familial complexities that can occur due to an over indulgence in brutal rape and torture at times of war.

Friday, 24 February 2017

The Marsupials: The Howling III

Utter fucking abombination. Can't remember the last time I shouted 'JUST FUCKING END' at the screen, it was the pan pipes that did it.

Turkey Shoot [Slaughter Game/Blood Camp Thatcher]

Kept drifting off. However being the third Trenchard-Smith of the week meant I was prepared for the inevitable extended chase sequences and could catch a quick doze as everybody was running about then wake up for the important stuff like a chap getting his hands cut off. Lost some of the finer plot details.

Dead End Drive-In

A teenager gets trapped by bureaucracy in a place full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes and works to escape. Which he does, but to a larger place full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes thus coming to the uncomfortable realisation that everywhere is just full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes.

Long Weekend

Goes for a lot more eerie weirdness than I was expecting such as the ever encroaching dead sea cow, but literally runs out of ideas as a chap endlessly pelts about a forest searching for a surprise ending long after the film should have ended.


Frequently ridiculous caper set in an alternate 2017 where prisons are high-tech constructs manned by emotionally needy cyborgs who intestinate everybody at the drop of a hat. Loved it obviously.

Down By Law

Sits in the same hypnagogic liminal space as all Jarmusch movies, so I'm not sure how much I watched and how much I dreamt.

Thursday, 23 February 2017

The Beast In Heat [La bestia en calore/SS Hell Camp/Horrifying Experiments Of The SS Last Days]

A barrage of bad taste lesbian nazis and action footage from other people's films topped with lashings of guffaw inducing dialogue.

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Ghosts... Of The Civil Dead

A larger story told in hints and moments, saved from being a bit too boring by a brilliant Nick Cave.


An attempt to be funny about camp 80s action movies that gets lost in a blur of shit posing and shitter background effects. Not helped by the fact that we had watched Kung Fury first which does the same job to a much better effect in a shorter time.

Who Killed Captain Alex?

Not really a film but a massively enjoyable experience all the same. This movie is on!

Blazing Magnum [Una magnum Special per Tony Saitta/Special Magnum/Tough Tony Saitta/Shadows In An Empty Room]

An average Giallo thriller pepped up with ludicrous action sequences unavoidably triggered every time the main cop tries to ask somebody a simple question. The best of these is a toss up between a very lengthy car chase across a wide variety of terrains or the bit where the cop gets kicked through a window by a transvestite. A tough call.

The Man From Hong Kong [The Dragon Flies]

A secret spy visits Australia from Hong Kong gets into violent fights, has insane car chases and partakes in a touch of hang gliding. King.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017


A blaxploitation take on The Exorcist. i.e. a blatant rip off soundtracked by loose funk that ends with an exorcism beneath a disco ball.


Fight Club vs Martyrs.

Wild Beasts [Belve Feroci]

The loosest interpretation I've ever seen of the phrase 'no animals were harmed in the making of this picture', frequent moments of sleaze and gore that veer into reprehensible and an elephant stamping on a girls head, popping it like a grape. Bad taste, eye popping atrocity and total madness, welcome to Joefest.

To Live And Die In L.A.

A cop who wears giant cuban heels, necessitating a great deal of balls forward posturing presenting an easy target for any nearby bad guy, meets an unexpected ending that ironically could have been avoided if he hadn't been wearing those heels.
More unexpected though was a young Willem Dafoe looking less realistic than the CGI Downey Jr in Civil War.

Friday, 17 February 2017

The LEGO Batman Movie

ADHD riddled little brother of The Lego movie.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017


Insane idea stolen from Aqua Teen Hunger Force devolves in to run of the mill carnage.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

T2 Trainspotting

A superb sequel that avoids trading on memory and cheap nostalgia whilst trying to present itself as something new by cleverly being about memory and cheap nostalgia whilst showing that nothing ever really changes that much.

Friday, 3 February 2017

Hacksaw Ridge

Plagued with heavy handed direction that renders everything meaningless, further undermined by the fact that the two minutes of interview footage at the end is better than the rest of the film.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Hunt For The Wilderpeople

Quirky, heartwarming, really fucking good.

Manchester By The Sea

An excellent film gets put in the shade by an absolutely blinding central performance from Casey Affleck.