Monday, 30 March 2009

Monsters Vs Aliens [3D]

In which I discovered that the combination of 3D, Seth Rogan's voice and inappropriate thoughts about the 50 foot woman creates an extremely enjoyable experience.

Saturday, 28 March 2009

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

The only funny thing about this film is the notion that it's supposed to be a comedy. Or a film. Or a good way to spend 90 minutes.
What a fucking joke.

Karas - The Prophecy / Karas - The Revelation

Broken across two films, Karas starts out as impenetrable crap, then by the second half reveals itself to be simply balls out insanity, with a plot so complicated everybody may as well be talking in binary.
Visually impressive throughout, it contains a level violence so high you struggle to comprehend it, a level of destruction that is nothing short of staggering and a level of ambition such that you do actually feel rewarded for sitting through it all.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

The Fall

Labyrinth for grown-ups.

Monday, 16 March 2009

The Unborn

Pretty girl / freaky shit / pretty girl / freaky shit / pretty girl / freaky shit / pretty girl / freaky shit ... for an hour and a half. Looking at that, this should be something I'd enjoy an awful lot, however it turned out to be less fun than having your face smashed off with a brick.

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Evil Dead 2

A masterpiece.

Saturday, 7 March 2009


I can see that if you haven't read the book, this would be a difficult film to get through. But then I don't really give a shit, I've read the book, this film is brilliant.

Monday, 2 March 2009

Gran Torino

Worthy addition to the 'Old Man Being Violent' sub-genre. Also seems to contain a helpful suggestion on how the old aged can be useful in helping to control gang related crime.

Sunday, 1 March 2009


Subdued plea to accept the eponymous hero as a normal person dealing with the complexities of being an international star of many bad movies. Not the laugh riot you're probably expecting.

Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait

I actually watched this. All the way through and everything. Not enough Mogwai.


Adds very little to the 'Old Man Being Violent' sub-genre. There is an old man, you wait a bit, then he is violent to a lot of criminal stereotypes. Quite unsatisfying.

Night Of The Living Dead

Possibly the most important horror film ever made.
As you watch, you can see the relentless nihilism that now instructs the modern horror film literally tear its way through the german expressionist influences that made up the majority of the genre at the time. Incredible.