Sunday, 28 February 2010

The Crazies

Not as Crazy as the title would suggest.
More just very confused.

Micmacs [Micmacs à tire-larigot]

Jeunet liberally sprays this with magic creating some kind of amphetamine fuelled version of The Fisher King vs Tony Stark before he became Iron Man.
Very brilliant.

Sexy Killer [Sexykiller, morirás por ella]

Attempts to cleverly subvert the serial killer genre by having the typical lady victim actually be the killer.
Unfortunately it has so many jarring film geek references crowbarred into the dialogue that Kevin Williamson must be spinning in his own anus.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

Book Of Blood

The closest anyone has got to a proper Clive Barker on screen in quite some time, it's also terribly refreshing to see a decent British movie that isn't about gangsters or tea drinking.
Well done.

Friday, 26 February 2010

This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse [Esta Noite Encarnarei no Teu Cadáver]

The high point of this one is when Coffin Joe is dragged by his hair into a grave whereupon the (previously black and white) film cuts to this garish technicolour, incredibly deranged, cinematic vision of hell complete with a chap who walks around systematically hammering a chisel into people's foreheads and a lot of breasts being whipped.

Monday, 22 February 2010

The Wolfman

The only glimmer of joy I could wrangle from this hopeless toss was the hilarity of Anthony Hopkins reacting to absolutely everything that happened as so mundane he may as well have been reacting to the contents of his own fridge.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Thirst [Bakjwi]

Chan-wook Park makes films that are the visual equivalent of trying to get the foil off An Easter egg without it tearing. In this one the foil is the idea of giving deeply amoral vampirism to the most moral person possible, and then sticking them in an illicit love triangle. Cue a great deal of meticulous studying and slow unfolding that will lead to a satisfying treat.

The Princess And The Frog

Given this is Disney's return to classic animation, you'd have thought they could of tried a bit harder.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

At Midnight I Will Take Your Soul [À Meia-Noite Levarei Sua Alma]

First Coffin Joe movie wherein the demented grave digger commits a series of acts which steadily move across a spectrum of evil with 'eating meat on a holy day' somewhere on the left and 'raping a woman thus causing her to involuntarily crush a live bird to death in her hands' somewhere on the right.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Hard Boiled [Lat sau san taam]

What every action film wants to be when they grow up.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

A Serious Man

The Coens have managed to jettison the air of 'trying too hard' that smothered Burn After Reading. Instead, the personal nature of the film has allowed them to concentrate on the unique characters as well as their idiosyncratic dialogue, and once again create a film suffused with wit and panache.

Sick Nurses [Suay Laak Sai]

Dallies with the idea of being a badly made Ring/Ju-On clone before changing it's mind and gleefully romping off down a fantastic exploitation cinema route that combines pretty nurses with inventive dismemberment, just as it's name would suggest.

Tenebrae [Tenebre]

Typically spectacular Argento fiasco.
Appears to be the result of a controlled laboratory experiment investigating the fusion of vivid primary colours, extensive synth workouts and outrageous death.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010


Answers the thorny question "If I had unlimited money, power and resources how could I have sex with Elisha Cuthbert?", although I'm fairly certain that there must be an easier solution than this.

Monday, 8 February 2010

Southland Tales

Not really a film, more back to back episodes from the second half of a TV series that bravely takes on the twin themes of incomprehensible future politics and 'The Rock' getting mentally broken in two.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Astro Boy

The cartoony CGI animation style is so at odds with the strong themes from the original manga that you tend to just spend the whole time thinking unhelpful, confused thoughts like "Who the hell makes a kids movie where a child is vaporised within the first 10 minutes?"
My Monster came out of the whole experience with a newly earned thousand yard stare.