Saturday, 26 October 2019


That comedy film you’ve seen plenty of times already about two friends who go on an episodic adventure that will culminate in them falling out and then learning something new. This is one of the better versions of that film.

Hellboy [2019]

Yeah, it’s all over the shop and some of the special effects make your brain wince but all of that would appear to be a means to an end. That end being to cram as much fucking awesome as possible into a meagre two hours, and there’s a lot of it in here.

Friday, 25 October 2019

Delirium [Le foto di Gioia]

Only when watching a Giallo would you get a plot about a lady concerned that her past as a hooker will damage her hard won reputation as a publisher of pornography. And only when watching a Giallo would you get something as ridiculous as a killer’s POV represented by a constantly strobing red light and people in random rubber masks. And only when watching a Giallo would you watch something this shit and still find yourself having a great time.

Sunday, 20 October 2019

Gemini Man

The cinematic equivalent of a disinterested shrug. Could have been saved simply by having the two Will Smith’s simultaneously shout ‘oh hell no’ and then quizzically stare at each other, but no. Never mind.

Saturday, 19 October 2019


Confused bollocks that manages to forget what story it’s telling roughly every 15 minutes and starts a new one instead.

Sunday, 13 October 2019

The Day Shall Come

Not Morris’ finest hour, mainly because the lunacy of reality now eclipses the craziest shit that he’s able to dream up.

Burial Ground [Le notti del terrore/ Nights Of Terror]

Fucking awful Italian zombie shit, the scariest bit being when a 13 year old boy, played by a man with dwarfism who’s clearly in his mid twenties, tries to shag his mum.

Saturday, 12 October 2019

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

An unnecessary but thoroughly enjoyable coda.

Sunday, 6 October 2019

The Lighthouse

If Bergman had made Lovecraft stories. Fucking awesome.

Saturday, 5 October 2019

Jojo Rabbit

The last place you’d expect to find heartwarming hilarity is in a tale of the Hitler youth movement at the end of World War 2, and yet here we are.


The story of how a mentally ill clown who laughs at inappropriate things becomes a mentally ill clown who laughs at inappropriate things whilst arguing with a man dressed as a bat.