Thursday, 16 March 2017


A masterclass in cinematic understatement where every glance, camera shot and line of dialogue is loaded with such emotional complexity you can't help but let the film wrap itself around you and engulf your every thought. Superb.

Monday, 13 March 2017

Kong: Skull Island [IMAX 3D]

I was looking forward to watching a big monkey punch helicopters out of the sky but I didn't realise that to get there I'd have to struggle through an over abundant and over qualified cast desperately trying to make themselves relevant to a script that clearly didn't give two fucks who was saying the words. Throw in cinematography that constantly squealed 'Look I'm Apocalypse Now' despite being nothing of the sort, editing that would feel proud to be called inept and a director exhibiting a startling inability to control anything and I now realise I should have just stared at that poster for two hours instead, it would've been a lot more fun.

Thursday, 9 March 2017


Blackly comic killing spree that delights in highlighting some of the weirder interactions ladies have to put up with when pregnant. Also delights in showing gaping neck wounds, so win-win.

Logan [IMAX]

Certainly the best Wolverine movie, probably the best X-Men movie and possibly the best Marvel movie so far.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

The Love Witch

Lavish technicolour extravagance that goes on a bit.

Under The Sun

Tantalising glimpses behind North Korea's propagandist veil constantly remind you that no matter how fascinating this documentary undoubtedly is there's a much bigger, far more fascinating story that they're desperate, but completely unable, to tell.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Men Behind The Sun [Hei tai yang 731/Squadron 731]

If nothing else this demonstrates that despite having got to a point in my life where I've seen a lot of films, there are still films out there that can offer up new sights unseen by my eyes. Not sure that this is a good thing anymore but wow, I certainly saw some things. Thanks Joefest.

Elite Squad [Tropa de Elite]

Unrelentingly grim look at policing Brazilian slums, apparently not an easy job and one that involves a lot of grimness combined with a distinct lack of relenting.

The Killer Is Still Among Us [L'assassino e ancora tra nol]

At the end a title card appears proclaiming that this film was made 'with the hope that it will be of use to law enforcement to bring these ferocious killers to justice.' Not sure how a badly made, piss dull attempt of a thriller is gonna be useful to anybody but at least the thought was there.


Excellent tale examining familial complexities that can occur due to an over indulgence in brutal rape and torture at times of war.

Friday, 24 February 2017

The Marsupials: The Howling III

Utter fucking abombination. Can't remember the last time I shouted 'JUST FUCKING END' at the screen, it was the pan pipes that did it.

Turkey Shoot [Slaughter Game/Blood Camp Thatcher]

Kept drifting off. However being the third Trenchard-Smith of the week meant I was prepared for the inevitable extended chase sequences and could catch a quick doze as everybody was running about then wake up for the important stuff like a chap getting his hands cut off. Lost some of the finer plot details.

Dead End Drive-In

A teenager gets trapped by bureaucracy in a place full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes and works to escape. Which he does, but to a larger place full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes thus coming to the uncomfortable realisation that everywhere is just full of lawlessness, madness, racism and eighties car crashes.

Long Weekend

Goes for a lot more eerie weirdness than I was expecting such as the ever encroaching dead sea cow, but literally runs out of ideas as a chap endlessly pelts about a forest searching for a surprise ending long after the film should have ended.


Frequently ridiculous caper set in an alternate 2017 where prisons are high-tech constructs manned by emotionally needy cyborgs who intestinate everybody at the drop of a hat. Loved it obviously.