Thursday, 31 December 2009
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
I really wanted to like this, but unfortunately it features a total shitehawk of a child romping through what appears to be an unusual hybrid of an episode of Ally Mcbeal and a very brown version of 'In The Night Garden', so it's balls.
In its defence, however, the Wild Things are a technical marvel.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Typically excellent Shane Meadows fare.
Despite it's whimsical running time and puddle deep plot, it is pushed into excellence by the manner in which it was filmed and some truly incredible rapping from the eponymous Scor-Zay-Zee.
Why isn't there a fucking soundtrack ? Warp are obviously idiots.
Friday, 4 December 2009
Monday, 30 November 2009
Sunday, 29 November 2009
Sunday, 22 November 2009
I felt duty bound to watch this since I've seen the first two.
This one is comprised of 70% sudden sharp zooms on buildings and/or people with appropriate swooshing noises, 25% shaky, motion-sickness inducing action sequences which make you wish somebody would buy Paul Greengrass a tripod for Christmas and 5% utter greatness.
Thursday, 19 November 2009
Second part of the biopic about a bungling criminal whose ineptitude is only exceeded by the police force pursuing him, thus by default making him Public Enemy No. 1.
The story in this one still skitters about like a baby giraffe on an ice rink but it's far more entertaining than the first due to it's focus on Cassel running around shooting guns (and usually missing), escaping from prisons (by waving guns around) and crashing cars (whilst attempting to escape).
Monday, 16 November 2009
Some of the most impressive FX I've ever seen fail to hide the fact that Roland Emmerich is a cock gargling moron who really shouldn't attempt to make intelligent, emotionally rich films and should maybe pursue a more suitable alternative career.
Maybe as a paperweight, or a doorstop.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Korean film that isn't the ghost story that it presents itself to be.
Slowly reveals a complication of plot strands that completely absorb and as an added bonus contains some of the finest one shot deaths ever committed to film.
The biggest mystery, though, is who sent it to me?
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Monday, 9 November 2009
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Pretentious, incoherent twaddle that attempts to document the relationship between Francis Bacon and George Dyer.
Except it doesn't because it spends all it's time desperately trying to be a film equivalent of a Bacon painting and failing catastrophically.
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Monday, 2 November 2009
Saturday, 31 October 2009
What starts out looking like a shitty teens in peril movie, slowly blossoms into a brilliant hour and a half of slow, drawn out nastiness with a modicum of wit about itself.
Written by the same bloke who wrote A Simple Plan, it's best watched knowing as little as possible about what's going to happen, for there are some genuinely neat moments of realisation in here.
A children's film refracted through the prism of cynical, oh so clever, american indie film making.
The end result felt like somebody had held a bitter sixth form film student, with no friends, at gunpoint and forced him to remake Bagpuss.
But then what do I know, the child loved it ("equally as good as Bolt", apparently).
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Friday, 16 October 2009
Fluctuates wildy between crazy frat-boy comedy and the inevitable pathos that comes from setting your film in a world where everybody has died, but haven't quite realised it yet.
Add to this a startling paucity of zombies, given the title, and you end up with a big brown plasticine ball of disappointment.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
A visually sumptuous, often overlooked gem. Compares favourably to modern takes on dystopia by demonstrating a willingness to stop and investigate some of the deeper notions that are raised, not always successfully, but a nod in the right direction is better than the braindead fuckwittery we currently put up with.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
Due to this being the first film banned by the BBFC in quite some time, I watched it simply because a finger wagging moron in a suit told me I couldn't.
It's nothing more than a modern update of the infamous Guinea Pig series i.e. a tissue paper plot propping up a huge amount of torture, sexual humiliation and dismemberment. The end result being that the part of me that enjoys watching a film mainly tutted and rolled its eyes a lot whilst the part of me that enjoys extreme imagery sat back and gawked in admiration.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Despite being a flimsy whodunnit stretched around a series of girls in short skirts being brutally murdered and sawn into pieces, Torso has an undeniable charm that is difficult to explain.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Sequel to a pair of 1960s, z-grade, brazilian nasties (with the same director) in which the villain of the series is released into the world 40 years on as an old man who, whilst being hounded by the black and white ghosts of past victims, has to contend with the difficulties of favela life in modern Brazil as he continues his quest to conceive a perfect child by randomly capturing people and torturing them in outrageously insane ways (such as a woman sewn inside a dead pig!) until a beautiful lady walks up to him, takes off her clothes and demands he put his baby inside her. This happens several times.
Monday, 28 September 2009
Saturday, 26 September 2009
18 directors, including names like Wes Craven, Tom Tykwer, Alfonso Cuarón and the Coens, struggle with the short film format.
In order the 18 films are 1.Slight 2.Sweet 3.Ironic 4.Funny 5.Notional 6.Bizarre 7.Sad 8.Shit 9.Surreal 10.Clever 11.Bollocks 12.Dull 13.Nonsense 14.Total Arse 15.Stupid 16. Excellent 17.Bittersweet 18.Just nice.
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
A squalid, brutal version of Con Air set in an elevator.
This would be great if it were a description of the whole film, but it's not, it's only the first 40 mins and the rest of the film doesn't know what to do with itself afterward.
Like watching premature ejaculation.
Monday, 21 September 2009
Friday, 18 September 2009
I was curious as to how bad this could actually be.
It contained a destruction of both subtlety and nuance on a par with a child attempting to recreate an artistic masterpiece with orange crayon.
Only if a child were actually to do this you would probably cock your head to one side and say "Well done", whereas this film just gave me the irrepressible urge to force my fist down the director's throat and drag his asshole out though his mouth so he can taste the same shit I had to watch.