Sunday, 29 July 2018

Mission: Impossible - Fallout [IMAX 3D]

The most I've enjoyed a Mission: Impossible movie since Woo's effort. Mainly due to the fact that it subscribes to a similar ludicrous idiocy in how it goes about making its missions impossible even though *spoiler alert* they never are.

Saturday, 28 July 2018

Brawl In Cell Block 99

Has a similar pace to Bone Tomahawk, but unlike Bone Tomahawk this pace is also applied to its escalation of violence allowing for a supremely over the top but extremely cathartic climax. Lovely to see Udo Kier doing menacing slime once again too.

Wednesday, 25 July 2018

Phantasm: Ravager

Strains with all its might against its low budget, the inescapable aging of the cast and the increasing lunacy of the plot in order to provide a closure with both spectacle and poignancy. Just about makes it too.

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Hotel Artemis

All the right ingredients for a great movie fumbled together into a distinctly average one.

Saturday, 21 July 2018

Top Sensation [The Seducers]

A film about rich people on a boat indiscriminately fucking each other on rotation until they get to an island whose only population is a shepherd, his wife and his goat, so the rich people fuck them too. Even the goat.

Tuesday, 17 July 2018


Tries to be two conflicting movies at the same time until a third act twist reveals a third really good movie hidden away, but just as you're thinking 'I could do with 90 minutes of this', it ends.

Monday, 16 July 2018

The Incredibles 2

Casually skips across a bar set high by the original then nudged higher by fourteen more years of superhero movies.

Thursday, 12 July 2018

Phantasm IV: Oblivion

Incomprehensible fourth entry made by cleverly inserting footage discarded from the first three movies into footage that should have been discarded from this one.

Sunday, 1 July 2018


Mostly made up of people running in slow motion to chunky nineties Hip Hop, something I would happily watch for many, many, many hours.
Unlike that poster which makes me want to look away the moment my eye catches that freakishly weird approximation of Jeremy Renner.