Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Apocalypse Now

A jaw-dropping examination of an epic lunacy portrayed through a perfect mesh of hilarity, horror and disbelief which upon every viewing edges my opinion closer to the idea that this is the best film ever made. 
Every film maker should be made to watch it so that the bad ones might be shamed into giving up and the good ones are reminded of what they should aspire to.

Monday, 30 May 2011

Animal Kingdom

Astonishingly assured debut that doesn't grip so much as apply an emotional pressure that you're only really aware of by it's sudden absence as you walk back out into the real world with the end credits rolling behind you. Really very excellent.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Death Note [Desu nôto]

I struggled through two hours of this laborious crap about a boy and his pet god of death (who looks like he's been ripped out of a PS2 game) just to discover that it was only fucking part one. I'm not sure I can suffer a part two.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Man Bites Dog [C'est arrivé près de chez vous]

A savage indictment of the media obsession with death and carnage as a camera crew document a despicable, yet beguilingly charismatic serial killer about his business. Gushes of jet black humour freely flow, closely followed by unhelpful realisations that I really shouldn't be laughing at some of this.

Sunday, 15 May 2011

Attack The Block

There's so many shades of excellence in this that it's like staring at a glistening rainbow of awesome. Trust.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

13 Assassins [Jûsan-nin no shikaku]

A stately samurai piece lightly seasoned with Miike hallmarks that grows exponentially into an absolutely fucking epic end piece.
Miike's genius would appear to be effortless.

Friday, 13 May 2011


Goes through all the usual motions of the modern haunted house movie in a fairly swift 40 mins before relocating and switching up by painting in huge streaks of zaniness blended with a gorgeous dark gothic whilst amplifying the soundtrack to teeth shattering levels of shrill.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Cop Out

And in the space of one film the fall of Kevin Smith accelerates to speeds imperceptible by the human brain.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Storm Warning

Impressively grim, crazed hillbilly tale.
Random highlight; The dilemma of a woman presented with the choice of killing a cute little wallaby or watching her boyfriend receive a fairly unhygienic castration. This is only really superseded by how that jam-jar in the poster gets used.

The Iron Giant

Exquisite example of the young child befriending alien technology sub genre.
Charlotte's opinion, however, was "I don't like sad films."
Think I'll keep E.T. on the back burner for a bit longer then.

Friday, 6 May 2011

The Collector

Nasty piece of work that comes off as a demented giallo take on Home Alone.

Fast Five

Everybody involved steps up their game escalating the series into brilliant idiocy. The Rock plays a man who appears to sleep in varnish, Vin Diesel plays an overinflated baby and there's some truly breathtaking stunt led action cinema splashed about the screen, all with the added bonus of trying to guess which of Diesel and Rock would be the giver and whom the receiver?

Sunday, 1 May 2011

Thor [3D]

Managed to win me over surprisingly effortlessly from thinking it was preposterous grand scale bollocks to extremely enjoyable awesome bollocks. Although it should be noted that somebody needs to buy the cinematographer a spirit level.