Friday, 30 March 2018


That proud Dad moment when the teenager starts inadvertently writing your reviews for you, to wit; "Is this supposed to be funny? It's not. It's shit."

John Wick

Though I was particularly taken with the central conceit that everybody is aware of the protagonist as an unkillable death dealer and fears him as such from the very first minute, it proved to be the films undoing as there was nowhere for the plot to go except toward an endless parade of coldly efficient gunfights until everybody finally dies.

Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Isle Of Dogs

Wes Anderson brings the full force of his exacting command of symmetry and droll humour to create a stop motion delight whose only real disappointment is that it had to end.

Thursday, 22 March 2018

War Dogs

Yet another deeply average, cookie cutter, 'greed is bad' cautionary tale. Yawn.

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Gods Of Egypt

Some weird experiment in trying to find out how many elements of a film can be made worse than Gerard Butler's staggeringly shit acting, unbelievably they succeeded in making everything worse.
The teenager reacted with apopletic fury to it all, so at least there was some positive to be had.

Sunday, 18 March 2018

The Invitation

An accurate film adaptation of general unease that winds itself as tight as it possibly can before viciously snapping.

Saturday, 17 March 2018


An unmitigated disaster that throws up endless questions with no answers, questions like 'Who are these characters?', 'Why are they doing any of the things they are doing?', 'Is that a new character, or one I've already seen?' and 'Why is the fridge also a phone?'

Tuesday, 13 March 2018


Garland continues to edge towards perfection with this occasionally ponderous, often visually stunning adventure through genetics, identity and very soapy water.

Sunday, 4 March 2018

Lady Bird

A both accurately observed and wonderfully understated portrayal of what it is to be a teenager as they crash headlong into being an adult. Made me glad I'm not a teenager.

Saturday, 3 March 2018

Red Sparrow

An ill advised attempt to ressurect a long forgotten sub-genre of movies from the nineties known as 'Joe Eszterhas Movies'. Let's not do that.