Paranoia [Orgasmo]

The American cut of Lenzi’s brilliant Orgasmo that improves things by increasing the amount of nudity to gratuitous excess and then fucks it all up by removing the punchline that makes it all work so well.

Infinity Pool

Three films in and younger Cronenberg’s obsessions are making themselves clearer, he’s clearly inherited his dad’s fixation on biology but is far more fascinated by the fine line that separates it from ideas of the self, ego and identity. That and he also has quite a fondness for hardcore sex inserts and extended gooey stabbings.

Sicario

Taut, lean and fucking excellent.

Scream VI

Considerably better than the last, because it’s less a knowing commentary on horror movies and more a knowing commentary on Scream movies. The next one needs to start with a phone ringing and a voiceover that says “These movies always start with a ringing phone and a question…” and the circle will be complete.

Demoni 3 [Black Demons]

Appalling acting, dodgy special effects, fucking atrocious acting, dull narrative and the shittest acting I’ve seen in quite some time. Nothing to do with any of the other Demoni films. Did I mention the acting? It was bollocks.

Erotic Ghost Story [Liu jai yim taam]

I know when it’s the director of Riki-Oh, The Seventh Curse and The Cat I should be expecting the unexpected, but when I sat down to watch this I absolutely did not expect a soft porn adaptation of The Witches Of Eastwick.

Pearl

Not as excellent as X but a more than welcome extension of it.

The School Teacher [L'insegnante]

Repugnant crudity. I know attitudes change but its extremely hard to see how this was ever supposed to be funny.

Up In The Air

A feel-good movie for cynics.

Celia

In which I learned that in 1950s Australia rabbits and communists were viewed as essentially the same thing - pests that needed to be removed, something that was apparently very confusing for any child with both a pet rabbit and a bunch of best friends who were communists.

Syndicate Sadists [Il giustiziere sfida la città/ One Just Man/ Rambo’s Revenge/ Flash Solo]

An hilariously King take on A Fistful Of Dollars with horse replaced by motorbike, gangs of cowboys replaced by gangs of kidnappers and Eastwood replaced by an invincible, mildly unhinged Tomas Milian.

Cocaine Bear

I’m still struggling to comprehend how this made it all the way to cinema screens without anybody saying ‘hang on a minute we can’t put this out, there’s something wrong with the first 95 minutes. It’s shit’. 

Django & Django

Mostly Tarantino talking about Sergio Corbucci films which will interest anybody who wants some background on the bit in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood where Dicaprio heads out to Italy. Also has Franco Nero and Ruggero Deodato talking about Sergio Corbucci films which will interest anybody who actually wants to learn something about them.

Cornetti alla crema [Cream Horn/ Cream Puffs/ Custard Croissants]

Quite possibly the farciest farce I’ve ever seen.

The Five Days [Le cinque giornate]

Argento’s only foray outside of the horror genre shows he has a surprisingly deft touch at comedy. Handy because he struggles to maintain an interesting narrative when he’s unable to kill somebody every twenty minutes. Still better than you think it will be though.