Monday, 27 April 2009

Observe And Report

At some point in this film a character states "I thought this was going to be funny, but actually it's kind of sad" and I all I could do was shrug, quietly agree and wait for the end so I could go home.

Silent Hill

What begins as possible reality quickly and without qualm sidesteps into complete insanity, whereupon it proceeds to gleefully roll around in it like a pig in shit.
There's some truly excellent wrongness going on here. This is a man who should be making Clive Barker movies.

Friday, 24 April 2009

Crank: High Voltage

Jason Statham Season comes to a close.
Initial assessment was 'Not as good as the first one' and 'A bit too silly'.
Whilst both are valid criticisms, after a touch of consideration I came to realise that this film is still a lot better than the majority of the rancid skidmarks film makers choose to wipe across cinema screens these days.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Midnight Meat Train

When I read Clive Barker, I envisage all sorts of wonderful dark majesties.
I never conjure up thoughts of something that could only be described as completely retarded ass.
Makes you wonder how this kind of thing keeps happening.

Monday, 20 April 2009


Continuing Jason Statham Season with more outrageous ludicrousness. A lot of fun.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

Zombie Strippers

Fucking Hell, why do I keep on watching complete shit like this ?
To see strippers turn into zombies and fire pool balls at each other from their fanny ?
Sometimes I am so fucking stupid.

Friday, 17 April 2009

Transporter 3

I thought that if I was going to watch a movie on a tiny screen in the back of a plane seat, I should pick something shit so the viewing conditions couldn't make it any worse.
I got it wrong. Outrageous good fun, wish I'd watched it on something bigger.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009



Monday, 6 April 2009

Afro Samurai: Resurrection

Proving that lightning rarely strikes twice in the same place.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Eden Lake

Standard horror by a lake scenario, whereby the killer is replaced by some ropey social commentary, the deaths are replaced by a large amount of running and screaming, and the idea of enjoyment is replaced by one of boredom.