Wednesday 27 April 2011

Fast & Furious


Fun when there's cars being thrown around like giant metal confetti, although this happens far too intermittently for my liking.

Monday 25 April 2011

Lizard In A Woman's Skin [Una lucertola con la pelle di donna/Schizoid]


A giant goose, hippies filled from head to feet with acid and surprise vivisection are but tiny slivers of trashy genius in a tedious, overlong, unnecessarily complex yet blindingly obvious, crime thriller mush.

Critters


A textbook example of the 'Action Jackson', ie. much better remembered than rewatched.

Thursday 21 April 2011

The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift


Linked spuriously to the other two by a sudden last thought cameo, though turned out to be better by quickly abandoning plot to allow for a screaming neon, retina shredding, style overload.

2 Fast 2 Furious


Set in a parallel reality where if an undercover cop breaks the law the police will ruthlessly hunt him down, provide him with ridiculously fast cars and insist he breaks the law again, only this time with a friend.
Plot nonsense that would be forgivable if the film were fun but the whole affair's like some kind of audiovisual interpretation of chewing on cardboard.

Tuesday 19 April 2011

The Fast And The Furious


Absurd levels of extreme car fetishism quickly give way to a half hearted stab at Point Break that smoulders with unspoken homoerotic tension.

Hop


A cringeworthy Christmas movie with the tropes of Easter lazily slapped in place, a move that pushes the film's number of redeeming features into a negative figure.

Monday 18 April 2011

Scre4m


Kevin Williamson takes the opportunity to tear chunks off the state of modern horror cinema, all the while holding his hands up at his own role in its development, whilst Wes Craven takes the opportunity to gleefully romp about in Argento pastiche.

Monday 11 April 2011

The Three Caballeros


Plotless latin america infused acid trip that exists as little more than an excuse for Donald Duck to perv over dancing girls.

Source Code


TFE: Total Fucking Excellence.

Sunday 3 April 2011

Sucker Punch


Snyder plays to his strengths using multiple realities as a tenuous excuse for the most absurd action sequences conceivable and manages to find a path to excellence via a heady amalgam of soft pornography and early nineties John Woo pumped full of crack.

Rango


A collection of dazzlingly impressive tech demos pasted together using an awkward blend of slapstick for the kids and western homage for the grown ups.