Monday, 29 March 2010


Pretty much does what the title suggests.

Into The Mirror [Geoul sokeuro]

Very good serial killer, cop thriller where all the murders are perpetrated by reflective surfaces.
The only major flaw is being constantly distracted by thinking "This is way more awesome than the Kiefer Sutherland movie" every 5 minutes.

Sunday, 28 March 2010

Strange Hostel Of Naked Pleasures [A Estranha Hospedaria dos Prazeres]

An assortment of shady characters turn up at an Inn in order to be shady, ie the gamblers gamble, the lovers do some loving and a thirty strong group of hippies revel in a drunken, naked manner. After quite a lot of this the innkeeper turns up at each room and shows via crazy flashback how actually they're all dead, the best of these being the bloke who gets hit by a bus.

The Bad Lieutenant, Port Of Call: New Orleans

Connected to Ferrara's film superficially at best, the story here is simply a backdrop for Cage to slowly frazzle into drug-addled madness.
There are so many outstanding moments in this film plus a surprising amount of straight up hilarity which all coalesces into something that can only be described as very special.

Monday, 22 March 2010

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage [L'uccello dalle piume di cristallo]

Like some bizarre hybrid of Hitchcock and Friday the 13th, in which the central character spends the entire movie trying to remember something he saw, whilst all around him pretty girls are murdered.
Total fucking genius.

Sunday, 21 March 2010


Rodriguez channels The Goonies (albeit an episodic, non-linear, origin story version of The Goonies) and creates possibly the most awesome kids movie I've seen since being a grown up.

Monday, 15 March 2010

Shutter Island

A phenomenal piece of cinema with fantastic dream imagery plastered all over it.
Unfortunately for Scorcese it will be held up for comparison against the far superior works he has already created, which is a tad unfair. If a young, unknown director had made this we would pronounce it a work of flawless genius and then sit back and wait for him to go make X-Men movies or something.

Sunday, 14 March 2010

The Mask Of Satan [La maschera del demonio / Black Sunday]

Superbly filmed, gorgeous looking, extremely charming, gothic masterpiece with a delicious streak of macabre running through it.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Paradise Lost [Turistas]

A group of tourists have an unfortunate time when they go to Brazil, where a bad man pays some drug addicts to walk them barefoot through the jungle so that he can perform unnecessary surgery on them.
Made me uncomfortably aware of what's inside my body.

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

The End Of Man [Finis Hominis]

When the only moment to recommend a film is sodomy at a funeral...
Actually, I'll just stop typing there.

Monday, 8 March 2010

Ghost In The Shell: Innocence

Rambling incoherent bollocks.

Alice In Wonderland [3D]

At first disappointing as you realise Burton has not made Alice In Wonderland but instead made a new story with the characters.
Then frustrating as Burton insists on showing entire events from the original story, despite the fact that it makes little sense to the new story.
And finally harrowing as you realise the new story you are watching is basically The Neverending Story being viciously raped by Speilberg's Hook before Chronicles Of Narnia steps in and finishes the job.

Friday, 5 March 2010


The fantasy bit is competent.
The painfully shit British melodrama clumsily spliced in throughout is not.