Thursday, 31 December 2009

Sherlock Holmes

In which Guy Ritchie demonstrates the kind of film he can make when he's not holding himself back by writing his own scripts.
Bloody marvellous.

Sunday, 27 December 2009

Pirates Of The Carribean: At World's End

Complex web of betrayals and doublecrossing that pushes the pirate thing just about as far as it can go.

Saturday, 26 December 2009

My Name Is Bruce

I was unable to decide whether this pitiful remake of Three Amigos was the sorry sight of a man sending a love letter to himself, or just a tragic cry for help.
I was able to decide that it was a big heap of piss.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Avatar [IMAX 3D]

Nothing less than incredible.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Where The Wild Things Are

I really wanted to like this, but unfortunately it features a total shitehawk of a child romping through what appears to be an unusual hybrid of an episode of Ally Mcbeal and a very brown version of 'In The Night Garden', so it's balls.
In its defence, however, the Wild Things are a technical marvel.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

The Box

The shat out result of a director trying really, really hard to make something that's as good as his first film.
Unfortunately it's not as good as his first film.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Strip Nude For Your Killer [Nude per l'assassino]

Nasty piece of sleaze that features a heavy emphasis on absurd combinations of naked women and brutal stabbings perpetrated by somebody in a motorcycle helmet.
Loved it, obviously.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

The Haunting

The original Paranormal Activity.
A masterpiece of the lost art of subtlety, and suitably chilling along with it.

Saturday, 5 December 2009

Le Donk & Scor-Zay-Zee

Typically excellent Shane Meadows fare.
Despite it's whimsical running time and puddle deep plot, it is pushed into excellence by the manner in which it was filmed and some truly incredible rapping from the eponymous Scor-Zay-Zee.
Why isn't there a fucking soundtrack ? Warp are obviously idiots.

Friday, 4 December 2009

Paranormal Activity

The offspring that would be produced were The Blair Witch Project to have frantic sexual relations with The Amityville Horror whilst BBC's Ghostwatch stood close by having a wank.