Saturday, 29 August 2009

Funny People

Strives to avoid the escapist trappings of conventional cinema.
However, constantly scraping 'reality' across your senses only serves to make you aware that nearly everyone you're watching is either a bewildered idiot or an asshole.
Just like real life.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Repo! The Genetic Opera

"Make a 21st Century CGI Nu-Metal Rocky Horror Picture Show" must have sounded like a great idea in some idiots head.
The reality, however, is a non-stop tyranny of songs similar to somebody shitting cancer into your ears, stitched together by a story that may as well have been hammered out by a brain damaged chimp on a typewriter rammed up its own ass.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Salo, or The 120 Days Of Sodom [Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma]

Some high-brow taboo breaking.
Powerful, remarkable and utterly, utterly berserk.

Thursday, 20 August 2009

One Missed Call [Chakushin ari]

Miike reigns it in and heads down the middle of the road, demonstrating nothing more than that he can wank this kind of guff out in his sleep and it will still piss on a staggering majority of modern horror cinema.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Pulse [Kairo]

Combines subtlety, elegance, unease and total confusion in a way that only japanese film makers can get away with.


Not really a film. More a torrent of incomprehensible twatting about.

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Inglourious Basterds

Entertaining, albeit heavily flawed.
Surprisingly the flaws are not due to it being an insensitive, boorish rewrite of World War 2. Instead the flaws stem from the fact that it was made by Quentin Tarantino.
What a nob.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

In Bruges

Brims with dialogue that sparkles like it's been carved from diamonds.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

The Mist

Prompted a discussion on the best ever horror film. It's not the best ever, but it's certainly so good as to be part of such a discussion.

Monday, 10 August 2009

GI Joe: The Rise Of Cobra

Like being thrown down a hill locked inside a metal box with several kilos of gravel and a downs syndrome child.

Saturday, 8 August 2009

G-Force [3D]

Seemed to be missing an essential 10 minutes of film that would perhaps help it all make sense. Or make you give a shit about what was going on.
Or make it good.

Watchmen: Director's Cut

More fleshed out, and not so lumpy now. Still staggeringly good.