Fucks it up within the first five minutes as you're presented with the type of catastrophic bollocks that Cabin In The Woods ripped the piss out of so well. From there it's a parade of cookie-cutter scary girls, brain bludgeoning loud noises and mangled, shattered internal logic. There's also the occasional appearance of motifs that remind you this is all based on a much, much, much better film.
The evil dead was a wildly inventive, fun, scary horror movie made with passion, style and charm. Evil dead is a soulless, formulaic retread that has that same sub-michael bay bleached out look that every horror remake seems have and replaces what we love about the evil dead with hollow characters doing beyond retarded things just so they can die a grisly death. The practical effects are impressively gruesome, but the complete lack of any internal logic, empathy for anyone and fun kill any impact they may have had.
ReplyDeleteHow do you speak after slicing your tongue in half? How does wiring a battery to plastic syringes make a defibrillator? How come no-one was aware that the family cabin they've all been to before has a basement?
Awful.
If you have used the Necronomicon to release the deadites and then sent them back to Hell, why would you leave the book in plain view on a table and not bury it deep in the ground?
DeleteIf, as stated, to banish a demon you just have to do one of immolation, inhumation or dismemberment (or fourth option extreme head trauma, which does the job on three of them) then why is the book there anyway? Or the cats? Or the people? Or any part of the dumb ceremony?
DeleteWhy does a centuries old demon summoned from a book appear as the last corporeal body it possessed?
Why does the book have handy English subtitles scrawled in it? At one point it is suggested these may be translations, so what ancient text uses the phrase 'chop the motherfucker'?
In response to the second question... because it looks like the original poster when her arm comes out of the ground. No wait, that'd be retarded. Hang on... it is!
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