The Man From Hong Kong [The Dragon Flies]

A secret spy visits Australia from Hong Kong gets into violent fights, has insane car chases and partakes in a touch of hang gliding. King.

Abby

A blaxploitation take on The Exorcist. i.e. a blatant rip off soundtracked by loose funk that ends with an exorcism beneath a disco ball.

Proxy

Fight Club vs Martyrs.

Wild Beasts [Belve Feroci]

The loosest interpretation I've ever seen of the phrase 'no animals were harmed in the making of this picture', frequent moments of sleaze and gore that veer into reprehensible and an elephant stamping on a girls head, popping it like a grape. Bad taste, eye popping atrocity and total madness, welcome to Joefest.

To Live And Die In L.A.

A cop who wears giant cuban heels, necessitating a great deal of balls forward posturing presenting an easy target for any nearby bad guy, meets an unexpected ending that ironically could have been avoided if he hadn't been wearing those heels.
More unexpected though was a young Willem Dafoe looking less realistic than the CGI Downey Jr in Civil War.

The LEGO Batman Movie

ADHD riddled little brother of The Lego movie.

Clown

Insane idea stolen from Aqua Teen Hunger Force devolves in to run of the mill carnage.

T2 Trainspotting

A superb sequel that avoids trading on memory and cheap nostalgia whilst trying to present itself as something new by cleverly being about memory and cheap nostalgia whilst showing that nothing ever really changes that much.

Hacksaw Ridge

Plagued with heavy handed direction that renders everything meaningless, further undermined by the fact that the two minutes of interview footage at the end is better than the rest of the film.

Hunt For The Wilderpeople

Quirky, heartwarming, really fucking good.

Manchester By The Sea

An excellent film gets put in the shade by an absolutely blinding central performance from Casey Affleck.

Rabid Dogs [Cani Arrabbiati]

Made me a little bit sad to see Bava reduced to a few props, a car, some actors and a camera but also amazed at what he manages to milk from such meagre resources, making his unfinished movie better than a good proportion of other people’s finished ones.

Split

Has an amazing final thirty seconds, I just can't decide whether Shyamalan placed that final thirty seconds there to mask the fact that the preceding two hours were shit or whether it was there to justify why the preceding two hours were shit.
Despite the shit film though, that ending is definitely amazing. Unless, like the teenager, you weren't alive in the year 2000, then you're just left very confused as to why the shit film you just watched doesn't actually have a proper end.

La La Land

Musical numbers filmed with such virtuousity they acted like a blowtorch to my icy cynicism, coupled with an ending that preaches about compromise between dreams and happiness, allowing what meagre cynicism I had left by that point to fully rejoice.

Why Him?

Obnoxious attempt at comedy that revels in placing a father/daughter relationship in various awkward situations, neatly echoing real life as my failure to closely inspect the films certificate led me to be sat in a cinema with the teenager as everybody onscreen cracked jokes about masturbation, oral sex and bukkake. Parenting firsts etc.