Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror

A DVD extra that has gotten seriously out of control.

Nightmare Alley

Fails to captivate in any way that will make you forgive the fact that it’s an hour longer than it needs to be.

Parallel Mothers [Madres paralelas]

I watched this on the big screen where its beautifully understated story stood out in stark contrast to the histrionic hyperbole I usually watch up there. An excellent movie.

The King’s Man

A lumpen episodic parade through a litany of shit accents.

Scream [2022]

Scream in 1996: “Slasher movies are kinda dumb, but we still really enjoy them, what a contradiction! Let’s explore that together and reinvigorate a tired genre.”

Scream in 2022: “Slasher movies are kinda dumb, but so are you. All you do is watch this shit and then complain, you fucking idiots. If anybody tries to do anything new with the genre then you cunts just whinge even more so here’s more of the same old shit for you morons to shower in. Fuck off.”

Trauma

None of Argento’s prior movies insisted you take them seriously, which meant no matter how barmy things got, they still entertained. The big error here is spending the first forty minutes insisting that this is now taken very seriously indeed, because Argento’s highlighting the problems of anorexia, something that should not be considered lightly. And this means that later on when somebody is listening to words whispered by a freshly decapitated head you’ve got to try and take that seriously as well, and you can’t. Because it’s fucking stupid.

Tammy And The T-Rex [Tanny And The Teenage T-Rex]

I’m struggling to comprehend how this film even exists. I’ve seen it, I know it’s real, but even now if you told me there’s a splatter comedy where Paul Walker has his brain transplanted in to an animatronic dinosaur and Denise Richards falls in love with it, I’d call bullshit.

Licorice Pizza

Exactly what you’d expect from an expert director making a movie about a mismatched romance. A joy.