Fast & Furious 9 [F9: The Fast Saga]

In order to distract from Vin Diesel’s cartoonish impersonation of an overinflated baby, and to compensate for the charisma vacuum left by the absence of Statham and The Rock, the levels of stupidity inherent in what is now apparently a saga have been pushed to a sensational level of absurdity where absolutely anything can and will happen. The net result being that nothing has any meaning any more in these films. Death has no meaning, bullets have no meaning, locks have no meaning, money has no meaning, physics has no meaning, morality has no meaning, geography has no meaning, the frailty of the human body as it bounces of a hard surface has no meaning. And when stripped of all meaning all you’re left with is an uncluttered, textureless morass of utter fucking moronicism.

Aquaman

Hey DC, you’re trying too hard but keep trying because whatever the fuck this mess is, I’m not buying.

In The Earth

Undiluted Wheatley that gets pushed to eleven as he creates A Field In England Part 2: Annihilation. Just superb.

Horror Noire: A History Of Black Horror

You’ve already seen most of the movies featured in here, but now you can watch them through different eyes. An absolutely superb demonstration of representation, how it works and why it matters. 

Black Roses

A heavy metal band attempt to overthrow authority, not as I expected by planting subversive messages in their lyrics, but instead they hypnotise their young audience into going out and murdering all the authority figures, and occasionally deploy glove puppet demons to do the job if things start to get a bit dull.

Psycho Goreman

Excellent bit of nonsense about a universe scouring evil that accidentally falls under the control of a psychotic child. Revels in an abundance of spectacular creature effects and the darkest of humour, superb.

American Rickshaw [American Tiger]

I would absolutely love to know how the people who rented this movie on the basis of that poster reacted to the bit where a witch uses her mind powers to set things on fire. Or the bit where a cobra bursts out of a dead mans eye socket. Or the bit where Donald Pleasence turns into a pig. Personally I thought it King.

The Seventh Curse [Yuen Chun Hap yu Wai See Lee/ Dr. Yuen and Wisely]

Another Wisely movie, and another by the director of The Cat, so another avalanche of superb madness. Highlights include a yo-yo demon baby, a machine solely designed to mash children and Chow Yun-Fat with a rocket launcher.

King.

City On Fire [Lung foo fung wan]

Absolutely iconic piece of Hong Kong action cinema.