Edgar Allen Poe’s The Black Cat [Demons 6: De Profundis]

Nothing to do with Edgar Allen Poe’s The Black Cat. Nothing to do with Demons. Is actually about somebody trying to make the third film in Dario Argento’s Mothers trilogy and unwittingly allowing the evil witch contained in the script to escape into the real world. Impressively this was five years before Wes Craven’s New Nightmare executed the idea so well, not so impressively this film is utter dogshit.

Sleepwalkers

Some of it holds up surprisingly well, particularly the cats, and some of it really doesn’t, particularly the sudden switch into unwanted goofy wisecracks every time a secondary character is dispatched, but most of it is just Madchen Amick biting her lower lip so, excellent movie, well done.

A Perfect Enemy

The first ten minutes need their own spoiler warning since they clearly set out every major twist that’s coming your way over the following eighty minutes.

Lapsis

Would like to be a hard edged satirical film commenting on the unfairness inherent in our present worker economy. It has a few lines suggesting as much but then fails to be satire, fails to be hard edged and barely manages to be a film.

Army Of The Dead

Snyder once again pushes everything in the film to the maximum. Unfortunately when your film is mostly made up of soul crushingly weak dialogue, lazy characterisation and a zombie horde that looks like an experimental dance troupe interpreting Jurassic Park 3 then pushing everything to the maximum is a pretty poor idea.

Donnie Darko

The teenager having been thoroughly impressed a while back with Trainspotting told me she wanted to watch another movie that I picked, and that I could pick whatever I wanted, so she got Donnie Darko. 

At the end she turned to me and stated “I really, really liked that, but then he just dies at the end which is just a shitter version of ‘and then he woke up and it was a dream’” and I had to concede that not only was she correct, but I had also chosen a film with a talking animal in it. 

How the tables turn etc.

The Castle Of Living Dead [Il castello dei morti vivi]

Extremely dull story about a mad bloke in a castle that cannot be made to be exciting no matter how cool the acting talent is or how many roles they take on in a single film.