Baby Driver

A heady cocktail of high octane automobile pursuit and carefully managed audio synchronisation segues into a stumbling clusterfuck of squabbling criminals and poorly thought out decision making. At least I liked the beginning, the teenager hated it all on the basis of unrealistic character motivation, to wit - "I wouldn't do all of that because of one ok date. There's plenty of other boys out there that don't shoot people".

All The Colors Of The Dark [Tutti i colori del buio/ They're Coming To Get You!/ Day Of The Maniac/ Demons Of The Dead]

Giallo via Polanski as the ever watchable Edwige Fenech has a breakdown of the psyche and decides satanism is the best way to prevent visions of stabby killers everywhere she goes. King.

Baywatch

I should rightly rip this to shreds but criticising Baywatch is a little bit like pointing out that primary school kids' artwork is shit.

The Mummy [2017 Effort]

In which the scriptwriters wrote a tedious, exposition heavy prologue and then cut and pasted it into every character's dialogue, the exception being Cruise's character who spends the first half constantly surprised that he's in the film and the second half going to every length to try and escape from it.

Phenomena

After an unbroken run of excellent Giallos alongside an unbroken run of excellent supernatural horror movies Argento was clearly stuck as to which he should make next, so he tried to make both at the same time and succeeded in neither. And yet despite this it's still easily my second favourite movie featuring a homicidal simian. Yes, second favourite.

Wonder Woman [IMAX 3D]

A bland caper enlivened by a well written central character who gives precisely zero fucks for gender conventions, story conventions or the fact that she's presently single handedly propping up the slowly wilting DC cinematic universe.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge [Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales]

The sort of good natured bollocks where a slumming actor steals every scene he's in (Bardem), where when a plot point is achieved groups of men stand around smiling at each other and where every character gets a sense of closure in case not enough people watch it to make another one. Except Sparrow who gets an origin story allowing Disney to start pinching off a series of younger version spinoffs instead.