Minions

 

No cod moralising, no hollow aspiration, no peril, just intense stupidity that's best watched in a cinema full of kids who guffaw at the merest hint of a wet fart.

 

Jurassic World [3D]

 

The script sounds like every line has been directly lifted from notes sent to the director by the producers and the film is saturated in so much CGI that I began to doubt basic reality.

The child said nowhere near as good as one, much better than three and probably better than two.

Pitch Perfect 2

 

Manages to fuck up every aspect of telling a story.

 

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

 

Starts on the wrong side of the line that separates playful gender stereotyping from rampant misogyny and then stays there.