Frenzy

 

In which Hitchcock playfully invents the Coen brothers movie.

 

Blood Night: The Legend Of Mary Hatchet

 

Deeply distasteful bollocks about a ghost whose massacres are dictated by her menstrual cycle.

 

Red Lights

 

Bland mess with an ending like getting to the last in a bag of Maltesers only to find it's a turd.

 

The Arrival Of Wang [L'arrivo di Wang]

 

The CGI has ideas way above its station and both script and performance suffer from first film enthusiasm, but the ideas at the core suggest there's an amazing film to be had out of this if it were to be remade, in the seventies, with Gene Hackman, and a young Jeff Goldblum as the alien.

 

Phantom Of Death [Un delitto poco comune/An Uncommon Crime/Off Balance]

Michael York fiercely plays a world famous pianist in his thirties who suddenly succumbs to an extremely rare disease that rapidly ages him in the space of months. This sends York insane causing him to kill every woman he's ever loved. He then goes on to struggle with an ongoing collapse of identity whilst taunting the police, who are unable to catch him because of an age discrepancy with evidence found at each crime scene.

King.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

 

Jack Brooks doesn't actually slay a monster until an hour and fifteen minutes in, by which point the ending has effectively been given away by the title.

 

Upstream Colour

 

A deeper than words hybrid of David Cronenberg and Terrence Malick.

Excellent.

 

The Wayward Cloud [Tian bian yi duo yun]

 

An arty allegorical look at love, sex and hardcore pornography where love is represented by water, sex is represented by watermelons and hardcore pornography is represented by steely, emotionless hardcore pornography.

Pain & Gain

 

Stupid, racist, homophobic tedium populated with repugnant characters that looks like it was edited by a drunk and yet is still far too long.

Better than Transformers 3.