Cooties

That proud Dad moment when the teenager starts inadvertently writing your reviews for you, to wit; "Is this supposed to be funny? It's not. It's shit."

John Wick

Though I was particularly taken with the central conceit that everybody is aware of the protagonist as an unkillable death dealer and fears him as such from the very first minute, it proved to be the films undoing as there was nowhere for the plot to go except toward an endless parade of coldly efficient gunfights until everybody finally dies.

Isle Of Dogs

Wes Anderson brings the full force of his exacting command of symmetry and droll humour to create a stop motion delight whose only real disappointment is that it had to end.

War Dogs

Yet another deeply average, cookie cutter, 'greed is bad' cautionary tale. Yawn.

Gods Of Egypt

Some weird experiment in trying to find out how many elements of a film can be made worse than Gerard Butler's staggeringly shit acting, unbelievably they succeeded in making everything worse.
The teenager reacted with apopletic fury to it all, so at least there was some positive to be had.

The Invitation

An accurate film adaptation of general unease that winds itself as tight as it possibly can before viciously snapping.

Mute

An unmitigated disaster that throws up endless questions with no answers, questions like 'Who are these characters?', 'Why are they doing any of the things they are doing?', 'Is that a new character, or one I've already seen?' and 'Why is the fridge also a phone?'

Annihilation

Garland continues to edge towards perfection with this occasionally ponderous, often visually stunning adventure through genetics, identity and very soapy water.

Lady Bird

A both accurately observed and wonderfully understated portrayal of what it is to be a teenager as they crash headlong into being an adult. Made me glad I'm not a teenager.

Red Sparrow

An ill advised attempt to ressurect a long forgotten sub-genre of movies from the nineties known as 'Joe Eszterhas Movies'. Let's not do that.

Mother's Day

In which a trio of girls, exposed to a most unfortunate level of demented brutality, exact revenge with a giant, transparent pair of inflatable tits.

The Incredible Melting Man

A spectacularly sloppy man runs about the place whilst absolutely everybody else struggles to give a fuck about what's going on, myself included.

The Evil Within

A lot of great ideas and some genuinely creepy moments that all steadfastedly refuse to gel in to a coherent whole.

The Face Of Another

A particularly serious look at humanity's confused conflation of appearance and the self.

Seoul Station [Seoulyeok]

Animated running zombies who, even in cartoon form, were effective enough of a threat that they made me painfully aware how shit everybody in the movie was at closing doors.