Aftershock

 

On the up side that's the year's worst movie out of the way, it can only get better from here because it would be difficult to get much shitter. On the down side, I sat through this anal gout. Thanks Eli Roth. You prick.

 

And Soon The Darkness

 

Two frightfully English girls are cycling through rural France when suddenly they have an argument and one of them disappears. The other must then amble about a series of locations, at a pace that accurately reflects life in rural France, gathering together a series of likely kidnapping suspects until the culprit finally gives the game away by touching her bum.

 

The Strange Colour Of Your Body's Tears [L'étrange couleur des larmes de ton corps]

 

The usual crazed plotting of Giallo swamped in frequent sudden surges of sumptuous imagery, usually revolving around leather gloves 'n' razor blades, which pushes the whole affair into fever-dream extremes.

 

Patema Inverted [Sakasama no Patema]

 

Astonishingly well crafted anime about the meeting of opposing gravities that would be fucking awesome as a video game and absolutely mind shattering in live action.

 

Wind Chill

 

A fairly standard psycho-stalker tale that cleverly becomes a back-story heavy ghost tale about half way through.

 

The Grand Budapest Hotel

 

An average Anderson.

 

Minority Report

 

A faithfully sleek gleam of Phillip K. Dick future is the backdrop for a daft caper packed with clunky Spielbergisms.

 

Princess Mononoke [Mononoke-hime]

 

There's an endless list of enjoyments to be had from Miyazaki's epic masterpiece. This time round, though, my favourite thing was watching the eleven year old's face crumple with bafflement at all the moral ambiguity being flung about.

The Proposal

 

You know you've had a tough week when you find yourself slumped in front of a Sandra Bullock/Ryan Fucking Reynolds vehicle, unable to switch it off, instead succumbing to a weird urge to just wallow in the syrupy shit.

 

Race With The Devil

 

A couple of couples upset some satanists, the plot then stalls and sputters about until an opportunity arises to have a car chase involving a winnebago.

 

Nymph()maniac

 

A rich conversation between the body and the mind that touches on fishing, Poe, Bach, gender, censorship, religion, mathematics and fucking.

Best seen in one go.

 

Jigoku [Hell/The Sinners Of Hell]

 

Had a plot so complex my brain was swiftly reduced to just popping and farting every time something weird happened.

 

God Told Me To [Demon]

 

Somehow manages to find a route from cops & snipers to a crazed, religious alien meltdown with the added bonus of a very calm man in a chair delivering the most horryifying scene of Joefest.

 

Angst

 

A psychotic's calm internal monologue is shown to be constantly at odds with his manic activities as he goes about his daily business.

Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde [Dr. Black And Mr. White]

 

Couldn't decide if this was a poignant commentary on race in the seventies or just an excuse for somebody to white up and punch the shit out of people.