The Ruins

What starts out looking like a shitty teens in peril movie, slowly blossoms into a brilliant hour and a half of slow, drawn out nastiness with a modicum of wit about itself.
Written by the same bloke who wrote A Simple Plan, it's best watched knowing as little as possible about what's going to happen, for there are some genuinely neat moments of realisation in here.

Fantastic Mr. Fox

A children's film refracted through the prism of cynical, oh so clever, american indie film making.
The end result felt like somebody had held a bitter sixth form film student, with no friends, at gunpoint and forced him to remake Bagpuss.
But then what do I know, the child loved it ("equally as good as Bolt", apparently).

Untraceable

(Saw + Internet) x Total Idiocy = Fail

Destricted

Art masquerading as porn. Or porn masquerading as art.
Or possibly just an excuse to get hard willes onto the shelves of HMV.

Up [3D]

Has joy written through it like a stick of rock.

Zombieland

Fluctuates wildy between crazy frat-boy comedy and the inevitable pathos that comes from setting your film in a world where everybody has died, but haven't quite realised it yet.
Add to this a startling paucity of zombies, given the title, and you end up with a big brown plasticine ball of disappointment.

Death Race

Certainly shit, just couldn't decide which type; Fabulous shit, incredibly shit or just total fucking shit.
Actually, that's a lie, I did decide.
Option 3.

Equilibrium

A visually sumptuous, often overlooked gem. Compares favourably to modern takes on dystopia by demonstrating a willingness to stop and investigate some of the deeper notions that are raised, not always successfully, but a nod in the right direction is better than the braindead fuckwittery we currently put up with.

Grotesque [Gurotesuku]

Due to this being the first film banned by the BBFC in quite some time, I watched it simply because a finger wagging moron in a suit told me I couldn't.
It's nothing more than a modern update of the infamous Guinea Pig series i.e. a tissue paper plot propping up a huge amount of torture, sexual humiliation and dismemberment. The end result being that the part of me that enjoys watching a film mainly tutted and rolled its eyes a lot whilst the part of me that enjoys extreme imagery sat back and gawked in admiration.

Surrogates

The director of Terminator 3 contines to demonstrate an uncanny knack for taking an idea that could be shaped into a deep, absorbing, intelligent concept and instead pissing it up a wall.

Shutter [2008 Remake]

An american studio gets a japanese director to remake a thai horror film, and guess what ? It's crap!
I will of course now hunt out the original.

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Scores points for trying really hard, but it's just not enough.

Torso [I corpi presentano tracce di violenza carnale/Bodies Bear Traces Of Carnal Violence]

Despite being a flimsy whodunnit stretched around a series of girls in short skirts being brutally murdered and sawn into pieces, Torso has an undeniable charm that is difficult to explain.

Embodiment Of Evil [Encarnação do Demônio]

Sequel to a pair of 1960s, z-grade, brazilian nasties (with the same director) in which the villain of the series is released into the world 40 years on as an old man who, whilst being hounded by the black and white ghosts of past victims, has to contend with the difficulties of favela life in modern Brazil as he continues his quest to conceive a perfect child by randomly capturing people and torturing them in outrageously insane ways (such as a woman sewn inside a dead pig!) until a beautiful lady walks up to him, takes off her clothes and demands he put his baby inside her. This happens several times.
King.

Gamer

Bloody ridiculous.

Although it did raise some important questions, like "What's the point of Gerard Butler?" and...

No, got it wrong, that's the only question it raised.