Manhattan Baby [Eye Of The Evil Dead]

Typical Fulci dirge as his trademark brutal deaths are used to spice up his trademark non existent attempt at anything approaching narrative. As an added bonus he also includes his trademark fucking shit child actors in this one too.

Uncut Gems

Couldn’t decide if I was watching a movie or having a fairly intense panic attack whilst people yelled at me. Either way, it was good.

Dial: Help [Minaccia d'amore]

Risible nonsense about a phone that tries to kill a model inexplicably causing her to fall in love with it. Worth it for the dead fish, the floating phones and a bit where an entire telephone booth sinks into the ground and its occupant calmly states that it’s ok. King.

The Ogre [Demons 3: The Ogre]

After the success of Demons 1 & 2, Lamberto Bava and Dario Argento parted ways because Argento wanted to make a third Demons movie in a church and Bava wanted to make a movie without Argento’s name above the title, due to everybody’s assumption that Argento was the true talent behind the Demons movies. So Argento went and made The Church and Bava went and proved everybody right with this utter bollocks.

Danger Route

What begins as a shoddy Bond rip off about a spy who can kill with a single well placed karate chop ends as a surprisingly competent spy thriller packed with double-cross, intrigue and the vaguest suggestion that this could all quite easily be a prequel to The Prisoner.

Color Out Of Space

It might be Lovecraft’s story, but it’s definitely Richard Stanley’s movie and it’s fantastic to see him delivering in spades on the promise made by his first two films over a quarter of a century ago. Here’s hoping we won’t have to wait so long for the next one.

Murder-Rock: Dancing Death [Murderock - Uccide a passo di danza/ The Demon Is Loose/ Slashdance]

Fulci’s Giallo follow up to New York Ripper and it’s interesting to see, after the furore over the graphic violence of Ripper, that the murders have been toned down to bloodless and dull affairs. Also interesting, given the accusations of misogyny levelled at Fulci, is his decision to fill ninety percent of the movie with thrusting, leotard clad lady crotches. Did distract me from the fucking awful soundtrack though.

The Invisible Man

Some fudgy plot points, but forgivable given the inventive new take on a very old idea.

Empire Of Ash [Maniac Warriors/ Empire Of Ash 2]

A dire attempt at postnukesploitation, immediately doomed by the leafy Canadian setting and an absence of any form of exposition, made bearable by some occasional stunt work that could generously be described as ‘good effort’.

The Strange World Of José Mojica Marins [Maldito - O Estranho Mundo de José Mojica Marins]

A scant look at the career of a man who single handedly created Brazil’s biggest horror icon. Given that Coffin Joe became bigger over there than Dracula, it’s quite the surprise that they only manage 65 minutes of documentary on him, and 15 of those are Marins talking about a film where he got a woman to shag a dog. Still beggars can’t be choosers and until a better Coffin Joe documentary comes along, this’ll do.

The Eternal Evil Of Asia [Nam yeung sap dai che so]

Utterly insane gibberish. Includes a man whose head turns into a giant penis causing him to piss on his face, wizards who attack by flying through the air whilst violently rutting and a woman sucking on an invisible dick.

King. As. Fuck.

Zardoz

Trippy as fuck.

King.

Empire Of Ash III [Last Of The Warriors/ Empire Of Ash]

Shoddy, amateurish and contains a disproportionally high ratio of shots of people shooting at targets off camera compared to shots of things actually getting hit by bullets. Also contains four pairs of breasts, a car being driven off a cliff and a helicopter controlled by a very old computer plugged in to a rock. You win some, you lose some.

The Deadly Spawn

Cheap aliens and grotesque messy deaths.

The Brother From Another Planet

Sedate tale about an alien with a glowing hand that can fix arcade machines. Made superb by the pair of aliens, clearly rooted in the men in black of UFO lore, that hunt him through Harlem.