We Are Still Here

(Frightfest Day 2)
A tone perfect homage to early eighties horror that explodes in a glorious shower of gore.

Aaaaaaaah!

(Frightfest Day 2)
An astonishing intermingling of ape and human behaviours that is completely unlike anything you've ever seen or will ever see.
Jam packed with shitting and sex too.

The Entity [La Entidad]

(Frightfest Day 2)

A found footage movie where everybody shouts 'KEEP FILMING!' even when there's nothing going on worth filming.

The Diabolical

(Frightfest Day 2)

It was nice to not have to sit through the half hour of setup haunted house movies usually subscribe too. It was good to see a unique skew on the usual phenomena which kept all the chills intact. It was disappointing that there wasn't more commitment to the ideas expressed in the last third.
Provoked more discussion than any other FF film so far this year though.

Landmine Goes Click

(Frightfest Day 2)

Essentially plays the same trick twice - build a situation up to a level of offensive repugnance before going 'Aha! Real life is horrible it's not like the movies!' despite the fact that this is a movie and most definitely not real life.

Stung

 

(Frightfest Day 1)

There were points during this when I had genuine concerns over whether it was actually going to end. Then when an ending did drag itself across the screen it was so bad I wished the film had just kept going.

Turbo Kid

(Frightfest Day 1)

A very particular blend of OTT gore and beat perfect comedy timing that I haven't seen since Jackson's early days. Only two films in and it's gonna be a struggle to beat 'Run through by a plastic unicorn mounted on a BMX' in the best death stakes. King.

Cherry Tree

(Frightfest Day 1)

A script with no concept of what a human relationship actually is interpreted in monotone by actors who struggle with any emotion beyond 'apathy', all rendered unintelligible by editing that expertly destroys all sense of time and geography. The director presumably just sat back and watched to see who could piss on his bonfire the most.

Lesson Of The Evil [Aku no kyôten]

 

Sets up a slow, subtle examination of a sociopath and then washes it away with an unsubtle tide of unstoppable, nihilist brutality.

 

The Gift

 

Aims for a European arthouse cinema vibe but is spoilt by the usual Hollywood trappings of overwrought music and signposted twists.

Which doesn't necessarily make for a bad thing, ask yourself when was the last time you went to a multiplex and got a half-decent Haneke pastiche? In that context, a thundering achievement.

 

Fantastic Four

 

The kind of fucking awful, clumsy, mishandled comic book adaptation you'd usually find in the 90s.

The child said she liked it even though the start was too long, the middle was boring, the end was rushed and Miles Teller was better in Divergent.

 

The Loved Ones

 

Does its very best to not be 'just another torture movie' by deploying heavy emotional back story for every character no matter how minor, a smart counterpoint sub-plot and a Jack Ketchum level of derangement in the final act.

Despite all this it will probably be best remembered for a bit with an electric drill.

I Am Chris Farley

 

Determined to be celebratory rather than muck-rake so we get lots of early SNL footage before the last quarter of his life gets seriously glossed over. Did laugh myself to tears at Farley falling through a table though.

 

Spring

 

I was going to be clever and simply say 'Linklater + Lovecraft' but then I realised the poster already says that, so i'll go with 'Accomplished slacker romance with tentacles' instead.

 

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

 

Tiny Tom Cruise manically rushing from one death defying scrape to the next whilst the rest of the film bravely tries to keep up.