Cowboys & Aliens

A cinematic insult consisting of hackneyed stereotypes being nudged around a plethora of trite plot conveniences.

The Silent House [La casa muda]

Takes some thinking about for everything to slide into place.

Castle Freak

Appears to be saying that if you don't let your husband have a quick tumble in the bedroom then somebody's gonna get their tits chewed off.

Spy Kids: All The Time In The World [4D]

Rodriguez reigns in the preposterous CGI to deliver an adventure with a far more solid feel in this superior reboot.
The smell thing was a welcome addition. Didn't really work but I'm glad it was there.

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over [2D]

Disappointingly shoddy.

Horrid Henry: The Movie [3D]

The British film industry offers up a concoction of repulsively precocious stage school-acting, laughably inept direction and excruciating music numbers.
Charlotte liked it because it had a hamster in it.

Spy Kids 2: The Island Of Lost Dreams

A crazed whirlwind of energy carefully harnessed to produce a standout kids movie.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back [Original Theatrical Version]

A far more streamlined rendition of a Star Wars tale, and all the better for it.

Rubber

Goes for surrealism, comedy and commentary on modern cinema of which none were the homicidal tyre hunt that was promised.
All in all a hollow attempt at being clever that instead comes off as being obnoxiously smug.

The Call Of Cthulhu

One of Lovecraft's finest moments faithfully adapted and superbly realised as a 1920s silent movie.

Super 8

Abrams (who I swear has read a lot of Lovecraft) neatly embeds Cloverfield into the background of a Spielberg movie about some kids having a heartwarming adventure in the summer time.
Pretty damn ace.

Zookeeper

Whilst my face was screwing up in displeasure at Kevin James getting outacted by an animatronic gorilla, Charlotte was reacting like she was watching Citizen fucking Kane.
She still has a lot to learn.

Star Wars [Original Theatrical Version]

Fun, campy, space romp that effortlessly captures the imagination.

Death Note 2: The Last Name [Desu nôto: The last name]

I didn't want to watch this but Lovefilm obviously had a different outlook on events.
So I watched some of the most outrageously convoluted cat and mouse activities ever portrayed on screen, so complex they require a rulebook (shown at the start) to understand and follow. Ridiculous.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Hamfisted propaganda tale that takes a few too many steps towards silly and away from fun.