Moon

Takes some massive, quite exciting concepts and then underplays them to the point of banality so they don't get in the way as we concentrate on shedding a tear for the poor lonely man.

Kung Fu Panda

Contains a flimsy, childish story and shoddy stereotypes in place of characters, but then these aren't the things I watch Kung Fu movies for. I watch them for the Kung Fu which in this case is AWESOME.

Tokyo Gore Police [Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu]

Yes, that's right. Tokyo Gore Police.
The title sums the film up perfectly; it's basically completely insane.

Shutter

Watching this shorn of all the nonsensical baggage heaped on it by the american remake reveals it to be an above average Ju-On homage with a great parting shot.

The Forbidden Kingdom

A most ridiculous mixture of The Karate Kid and The NeverEnding Story.
Jackie Chan looks slightly embarassed and Jet Li talks like a robot for the entire duration.

Sherlock Holmes

In which Guy Ritchie demonstrates the kind of film he can make when he's not holding himself back by writing his own scripts.
Bloody marvellous.

Pirates Of The Carribean: At World's End

Complex web of betrayals and doublecrossing that pushes the pirate thing just about as far as it can go.

My Name Is Bruce

I was unable to decide whether this pitiful remake of Three Amigos was the sorry sight of a man sending a love letter to himself, or just a tragic cry for help.
I was able to decide that it was a big heap of piss.

Avatar [IMAX 3D]

Nothing less than incredible.

Where The Wild Things Are

I really wanted to like this, but unfortunately it features a total shitehawk of a child romping through what appears to be an unusual hybrid of an episode of Ally Mcbeal and a very brown version of 'In The Night Garden', so it's balls.
In its defence, however, the Wild Things are a technical marvel.

The Box

The shat out result of a director trying really, really hard to make something that's as good as his first film.
Unfortunately it's not as good as his first film.

Strip Nude For Your Killer [Nude per l'assassino]

Nasty piece of sleaze that features a heavy emphasis on absurd combinations of naked women and brutal stabbings perpetrated by somebody in a motorcycle helmet.
Loved it, obviously.

The Haunting

The original Paranormal Activity.
A masterpiece of the lost art of subtlety, and suitably chilling along with it.

Le Donk & Scor-Zay-Zee

Typically excellent Shane Meadows fare.
Despite it's whimsical running time and puddle deep plot, it is pushed into excellence by the manner in which it was filmed and some truly incredible rapping from the eponymous Scor-Zay-Zee.
Why isn't there a fucking soundtrack ? Warp are obviously idiots.

Paranormal Activity

The offspring that would be produced were The Blair Witch Project to have frantic sexual relations with The Amityville Horror whilst BBC's Ghostwatch stood close by having a wank.